Featuring Thousands of Jokes and Funny Pictures.
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by Maverick | October 21, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
Q. What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot?
A. She called the toe truck!
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Loading ...by Maverick | October 21, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
Q: What did King Tut say to the museum?
A: I want my mummy!
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | October 21, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy.
“Isn’t it rather complicated for a small boy?” she asked the salesclerk.
“It’s designed to adjust the tot to live in today’s world, madam,” the shop
assistant replied. “Any way he tries to put it together is wrong.”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | October 6, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe.
”Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a sign from God that we are to be best friends for the rest of our lives,” she spoke wisely.
”I agree completely, ma’am,” the man replied.
The woman stepped closer to examine the damage and noticed something shiny within her car. Reaching in, she pulled out an unbroken bottle.
”This bottle of wine wasn’t even cracked. I think this is another sign that we are to drink a toast to our new friendship.”
”That’s a great idea, miss,” the man answered taking the bottle from her. He popped the cork and drank his share.
”I’m sorry. How rude of me. Would you like some?”
”No, thanks,” came the reply. ”I’ll just wait on the cops to get here.”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | October 3, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbor
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
The right way to spell POTATO should be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU!
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | October 3, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a youth club:
Interviewer: “So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on
this adventure holiday?”
Mr. Jones: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.”
Interviewer: “Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?”
Mr. Jones: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the range.”
Interviewer: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be
teaching children?”
Mr. Jones: “I don’t see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline
before they even touch a firearm.”
Interviewer: “But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.”
Mr. Jones: “Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute but you’re not one, are
you?”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | October 3, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
Your potted plants stay alive.
Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
You carry an umbrella.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up’
older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
you no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy
test kits.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff’.
You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & ho-ho’s
‘I just can’t drink the way I used to’ replaces ‘I’m never going to drink that
much again’
Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You don’t get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | September 18, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack and I’ll plaster you.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...by Maverick | September 18, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
Q: What did King Tut say to the museum?
A: I want my mummy!
(1 votes, average: 2 out of 5) Loading ...by Maverick | September 18, 2008 | In Misc Jokes | No Comments
Q: What’s red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
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